No doubt that, music means a lot to me. But lately, I've been feeling it's effects more so on a deep, almost physical level. Yesterday while coding up some drupal goodness I had a bunch of stuff in the queue, Primus, Idlewild and a couple of albums by the Afghan Whigs.

All of these albums provided a nice background for some serious productivity until I got to the album "Gentlemen" by the Afghan Whigs. I don't know what it is about this album, I love it, but it conjures up all kinds of memories about my life, particularly relationships I've been in and out of. I don't know why this is, I've been with the same person for a decade plus, what need do I have for these old memories?

Maybe it's a mid-life crisis or something that I have now come to look at my life and the people I am attached to in an objective way. After all, my time here is indeed limited, and it would seem to be the American way to do what I can to take full advantage of my time spent here. What if we aren't supposed to be together? What if you haven't yet found the love of your life? What if I haven't? Not happy? Get Out!!!!

Alas, there are unwilling participants that depend on me, and choices have consequences. So, like the typical spineless American made man, I will instead drown my thoughts and concerns in my various coping mechanisms.And hope that this pit in my stomach grows numb enough that I can continue on doing what is expected of me. Because that's what I've always done. I do what I think I'm expected to do. It's worked so far I guess.

Anyway, damn you Dulli for bringing these thoughts up. I'm pretty sure you knew this would happen. But I gotta tell you, it really puts a hurting on my productivity, in a different age you might be considered a terrorist for such things.

Oh well, now the new Prong is on(I highly reccommend it), and I can return to normal everyday living a lie. YAY.