Today I was reading my usual Sunday morning links while working my way through a nice cup of coffee when a I came across this article in one of the comments.

Now first of all, I am pretty sure it was written by a hacker to poke fun at mis-informed parents who ultimately are having to deal with the fact that their children are demonstrating abilities that are beyond their comprehension. As a parent I can sympathize somewhat. But I also spend my Saturdays hanging out with other parents of children who are likely smarter than their parents, and it wouldn't surprise me if some are struggling with some of the issues satirized in this article.

I grew up in the early to mid 80's and so I was one of those kids that was into music(and still am) that was deemed inappropriate by a bunch of parents who had convenient access to our government. What resulted, was a lot of stupid non-sense about Judas Priest being blamed for 2 kids and their suicide pact, the break up of one of my favorite bands, and a warning sticker on albums that does not serve it's stated purpose beyond identifying to white parents that their kids are listening to rap.

This is a prime example of parents shirking their own responsibility in favor of seemingly convenient laws and regulations that do more harm than good.

This is the wrong approach in my mind. I've been told that gifted children are more likely in their adult lives to either become homeless or turn to a life of crime. This may be a somewhat alarmist point of view, and unfortunately I am not aware of any formal study done on this that I can refer to. But I think a reasonable conclusion is that children who do not fit in the sweet spot of some government mandated bell curve are likely to stay there. And as they get older the consequences for not conforming get more and more severe.

Surely no parent wants this for their child, but dealing out severe punishments without understanding the activities you are punishing or the reason behind them rings hollow, and frankly makes you look like a huge prick in the eyes of your child.

With that being said. If your child is is getting way beyond your own abilities as a computer user, here are some things to think about.

Talk With Them

Seriously, I shouldn't even have to say this, but some parents would rather rely on a misconfigured v-chip on their television or some website hopefully self censoring itself than have a big scary talk with their child.

If you discover they've been on a site that you don't approve of, first tell them the real reasons why you don't think it's a good idea for them to be on the site, and then ask them why they feel they should be on that site. It might just be that either you or the child is unaware of the risks, or lack of, as the case may be for having access and spending time on the site.

If you discover they've been looking at virus source code, tell them your concerns, and ask them why they are looking at it. You may have a child prodigy coder on your hands that may end up founding the next Google/Microsoft/Apple someday when they disappoint you by dropping out of business school. Perhaps you should instead give them the option to explore this new found int rest, talk to the IT guys at your job, maybe they have some suggestions, may be they'd be willing to have your child shadow them for a day and get an idea of what programming is like in the real world(this could either scare them off, or set them on a fairly lucrative career path).

If you discover they've been installing software from warez site, tell them your concerns, and ask them why they are installing the software. For example, they install a hacked version of Photoshop without your knowledge, would this not demonstrate an interest in digital photo manipulation? Why should they be punished for that? Investigate whether purchasing the software legitimately is an option, if not, see if there are alternatives that would be suitable(which there probably are).

The situations are endless, but the point is, rather than rely on some big dumb inefficient bureaucracy such as the government or some faceless corporation. Both you and your child's lives have the potential to be enriched by this open communication.

At the Iowa straw poll earlier this year, Mitt Romney said something to the effect that he wants to legislate a magic button on computers that parents can use to block out all unsavory web access and protect their children. Spoken like a clueless parent who would rather let someone else deal with his problems. Now I'm guessing that he was merely playing to the audience rather than believing what he actually said, after all he's Mormon, and in my experience Mormon families seem to have a relationship with each other on average, at least on the surface. More government regulation is not what is needed. It's we as human beings adapting to the digital age as individuals and acknowledging that bad stuff does indeed exist as well as the good stuff that comes with advances in technology.